Monday, April 18, 2011

At Bat vs. On Deck

As you all know, I have an athletic background, playing three sports in high school (basketball, football, and track in case you were curious) and football in college—shoutout to the Cardinal Nation! Participation in athletics doubles in purpose, as many situations encountered in sports, on and off the field of play, occur in real life; persevering through difficult conditions, working effectively with a team, completing undesired tasks to improve, among other examples. Coaches often charge their players to play harder, faster, and better discouraging complacency because there is always another player who is hungry and ready to take your position.

As I migrated to college from high school, I, like many other people during that time in life, was faced with the decision of whether or not I would stay with my girlfriend. With the combination of distance and young adult freedom working against us, I was ultimately romanced by the college life and neglected her in pretty much every way possible. When she text me, I responded with the signature “one word response”; when she called at night, I was too busy to talk at all because I was going out. I immersed myself into the “college life” until I started to miss her.

I would inquire, during conversations, about the people she was meeting at her school and, of course, the guys whose attention she had grabbed, making sure that I was still occupying the number one spot in her mind. There was always one guy’s name, which I kept hearing involved in innocent activities, as far as I knew, but nevertheless, he remained around her. Let’s call him Scooter. Shortly after I attempted to make up for lost time and become super boyfriend, as I had previously served about as much purpose as a Tyler Perry movie (that would be a negative), I realized that Scooter had been filling the emotional (again, as far as I knew) void of my lady.

Panicked, I quickly became desperate to get her back, which I did, briefly, before realizing that we were in two different states, geographically and mentally (see what I just did there? Lol). Scooter had been looming in the wings and “nice guyed” his way right on into the picture while I, unknowingly, was sabotaging myself with every missed ignored phone call and making her decision simple. I became complacent and took her for granted, and there was someone else ready to take my starting spot.

I have also been on the other side of this general scenario where I sought out a nice, young lady who happened to have a boyfriend at the time. Once I had acquired this information, I pulled back the proverbial reigns and cruised in the “nice guy friend” mode, casually observing her then boyfriend making the very same mistakes that had led to the demise of my aforementioned relationship. Never making any aggressive moves, I listened and provided unbiased semi-biased feedback when asked for my opinion, filling the emotional void that had been neglected until I became the only focus.

While these scenarios featured the female as the pursued party, make no mistake about it; guys can just as easily be pursued and appealed to if his lady neglects her—let’s see, how should I say, voluntary relationship responsibilities—yeah, I like that. Whenever you are checked in the game, know that someone is on the sideline stretching, and waiting for you to mess up, so they can take your starting position!

Thanks for checking in the GAME with #JustGQ! Stay tuned for more posts, and follow @GQ50 on twitter for updates! COMING SOON!

1 comment:

  1. I agree with everything stated in this post. However, I feel there is a thin line you flirt with playing the back-up, or nice guy, role. If they become reliant on your advice, unbiased or semi-biased as it might be, they will develop more of a frienship and close off any chance/attempt at anything in a more intimate manner. Thoughts?