Monday, February 28, 2011

People Don't Date No More, All They Do Is This

Shoutout to all you Dungeon Family fans out there in the blogosphere, as I had to draw title inspiration from the legendary hip-hop group, Goodie Mob for the title. Now, checking IN! Sound the horn!

Prior to the occurrence of a wedding bells symphony featuring an Uncle Ben’s rice chorus, two people must get to know one another thoroughly. In the past, people would date prior to “going steady”. This component of the courting process served more of a purpose than simply a stage in a person’s maturation; dating enabled the involved parties to learn the nuances of one another’s personality, PRIOR to entering into a monogamous relationship. I, personally, feel a large reason for the inability to resolve issues and/or co-exist productively, in general, stems from an ignorance of these nuances, which truly compose the other person.


As the situation stands now, either side of the dating negotiations operate from a distance. The institution of dating has been transformed from “ok, I’ll pick you up at 7:30” to “come on over around 11”, which might not be a problem IF both, ladies and gentlemen saw eye to eye on the main objective or even possessed similar associated feelings regarding the activities taking place. However, this is not the case. What is the case, you ask? Well, so happy am I that you inquired. Allow me…

Boy meets Girl and gets Girl’s number. Boy, then, texts Girl to initialize and continue conversation (Lol). Girl and Boy hang out at Boy’s spot. Boy becomes intrigued with and begins to like Girl, but he, still, has unresolved situations with Girl 2 and Girl 3. This is where the plot thickens because it could go a few different directions, and this is, typically, where communication breaks down.

Direction 1: Boy is honest with Girl explaining his situations with Girl 2 and Girl 3. Girl becomes offended because she believe in “monogamy at hello”, and she washes her hands of Boy, moving on, more than likely to…

Direction 2: Boy lies to Girl about Girl 2 and Girl 3 (probably because he dealt with the aforementioned Girl in “Direction 1”) and carries on dating the 3 girls until he is caught and deemed a liar, when lying was unnecessary from the start. Or…

Direction 3: Boy is honest with Girl explaining Girl 2 and Girl 3, and Girl, not so surprisingly, has situations with Boy 2 and Boy 3. However, instead of being understanding, the male ego interferes, and Boy flips out and drops Girl. But hopefully..

Direction 4: Boy and Girl can sit and have a civilized conversation explaining their situations and expectations for their relationship, which simplifies and minimizes conflict.

My advice is to avoid these frivolous games, plain and simple. HEAR ME WHEN I SAY THIS: “SINGLE” IS A FALLACY (YEAH I SAID IT)! A truly single person, as the great skeptics perceive it (no involvement with anyone), does not exist in vast numbers. Virtually everyone has a residual situation and more than likely will not let that situation go until confirmation that the new situation is greater than its predecessor. A true comfort level, whether real or perceived, holds such an invaluable nature that even when faced with something potentially great, people may cling to the past instead of venturing to take a chance on something unproven.

Place the cards on the table, as disclosure dispels ambiguity and promotes communication without fear of exit. Realize that people frequently have two options, and do not sabotage the presence of honesty by reacting irrationally.

Thanks for CHECKING IN THE GAME! Check out and  PLEASE COMMENT, COMMENT, COMMENT! Follow Just GQ for updates on NEW POSTS! GOD BLESS!


  1. totally agree.. direction 4 is obviously the way to go. problem is trying to find two people who can actually have and are willing to have such a mature conversation. and lets face it..if the two ppl aren't on the same page (as in its the right time and place in there life where they are willing to put in a little time and effort into a potential longterm relationship) then its probably hopeless. why complicate ones life when there are so many other potential uncomplicated "relationships" to be had? alsoo as silly as it sounds that women "expect monogamy at hello" (which is a nice thought) i also feel like well basically we have come to the reality of the fact that the majority of the time we aren't the only lady in a guys life. The problem is when they try to hide or lie about Girl #2/#3. i feel like there is definitely still a dbl standard tho when its comes to women who have more that one guy in there life. the male pride kicks into overdrive. they want to be the only person in there womans life even if its acceptable for them to have other people. So please men out there.. if youre gonna have multiple people in your life (as you stated not very many truly "single" people exist), then dont expected anything different from your women. Back to direction #4. Communication is key. if both people can lay out what they want and expect of the relationship lots of unnecessary "drama" can be avoided

  2. First of all, thank you for your comment. I completely agree with your comments. I have always tried to maintain the mentality that there are other guys in my interests' lives, ESPECIALLY when we initially begin "talking". I believe the disconnect comes from the communication and the associated comfort (or discomfort) level because people are fearful that if they are honest, they will be dismissed, men AND women.

    Another act that, personally, pisses me off real good (like, REAL good) is when people assure you that they can handle something, urging you to let your guard down and disclose something you are iffy about, and they, almost immediately, use that information as reason to end what the relationship and/or ordeal. But I digress.