You Play To Win the Game!

Good afternoon, Just GQ readers! This topic was selected per reader request via Twitter. Please continue to leave suggestions, questions, and topics about which you would like to hear AND FOLLOW THE BLOG (click the little button on the right panel as you scroll down the entry) PLEASE AND THANKS! NOW…Time to check in the game (sound horn)!

Let’s face it… Women are more emotional, generally speaking, than their male counterparts. Additionally, the goals of relationships vary in “regular” scenarios between sexes. With that being said, it is rare for guys to scout a woman, much less begin a new relationship, with hopes that it will result in wedding bells and an Uncle Ben’s rice shower. Please pardon the following Neanderthal-esque comment, BUT it was most simply and effectively stated by one of my former teammates. He said, “When I talk to a girl, I want to hit. Plain and simple. It all depends on how long she makes me wait. If she makes me wait long enough that I get to know her and start to like her, then she got me. BUT if she lets me hit early in the game, GAME OVER!”

By comparison, it is not at all uncommon for ladies to see a guy and romanticize a first date, relationship, anniversarIES, and “I do’s” in their fairy tale driven minds prior to him saying “So, I’ll pick you up at 7?” Naturally, women desire exclusivity; to be the ONLY person for their mate. Conversely, men think slight—completely different. Let’s talk about the current scenario. Women frequently comment on how a shortage of good guys exists (not exclusive to race), so if one is deemed “a good guy”, odds are he is being or has the potential to be pursued by multiple female interests at a time. Now, in these ladies’ pursuit, an apparent disregard for the competition often conveys a message of “I am the better catch, and I intend on showing you that. I don’t care about the other girl.” With that attitude, if you don’t care, then he most certainly does not either! If you want to compete, then he will provide an arena for you to do so, alternating between candidates. SMH!

In a society growing increasingly more comfortable with a lack of commitment, guys, essentially, find commitment to be optional because, well, it really is, especially when younger. Commitment is rarely respected by other members of BOTH sexes, and the illusion of a PERCEIVED upgrade constantly looms in the wings. For the aforementioned reasons, it is EXTREMELY difficult for a guy, who did not necessarily want a commitment, initially, to fall for someone, letting his guard down completely, benching all the other girls he had on the floor, and completely focusing on one. It leads to an unfamiliar (and often unappreciated) feeling of vulnerability, which makes guys uncomfortable. Additionally, remaining with her through the senseless conflict, now adds anxiety, whereas prior to full commitment, it had been a non-issue, as if one girl tripped, the remedy was only a scroll, selection, and phone call away. *Kanye shrug*

I know all the ladies are heated, thinking or saying, “So what?! We have to do all that too, and I stay when he trips on me. I got plenty of dudes who—“ Chill on that. Keep in mind that you wanted a relationship early in the game. More than likely, a relationship was your objective from the start, as, rarely, do females only want to be someone’s physical outlet. Rebuttal? Thought so; moving right along.

The aim of this post is not to claim that guys invest more in relationships, but to provide perspective of the difficulty involved when he, voluntarily, excuses himself from the game to take a full timeout with you. I, personally, tip my hat to my fellow males and females, who recognize a valid match and commit without straying.

Thanks for checking in the GAME with Just GQ! Stay tuned for more posts! Follow the blog by clicking the button in the right panel! Leave your comments and questions on the blog! God Bless!