Monday, May 31, 2010


Have you ever felt unprepared when you found a mate that seemed overly compatible for what you wanted?  Did you opt for the less perfect instead of the obviously superior choice?  Well, in this installment of Just GQ, I will be addressing the artform that is running from a good thing.  The misconception in this issue lies in the mindset that only men run from good women, when the actuality of the dilemma shows that BOTH MEN AND WOMEN run from potential mates who propose genuine commitment offers while satisfying the checklist of requirements.

Now, I, personally, believe the panic associated with entering a relationship derives from this irrational link to marriage that saturates popular culture.  People often claim to find “wifey”, portraying serious commitment when, in fact, that “serious commitment” will quite possibly be a thing of the past within a couple months, BUT the perception of this serious commitment petrifies those who feel their preparation pales in comparison to the other party involved.  This is why you often see overeager men and women appear to chase after other men and women who appear to be playing, which brings me to my next point.



Dating contains an ENTIRELY overly complicated factor in the bulk of social soirees (stints of dating).  The practice of just dating wears a Halloween mask of casual sex and rarely knocks on the door of fully knowing and understanding each other.  Men, especially, sprint in the opposite direction of relationships for the fear of “losing their player’s card” or having to “bench the squad” (unless he has other plans).  The “team theory” serves men’s and women’s hunger to have their cake and eat it too.  This is the idea that one can have a “main” who receives girlfriend/boyfriend treatment and other players who only receive the crumbs that remain, often not being treated as well as they desire but satisfied with some time instead of no time.  Deep right?

A delicate dichotomy exists when one gauges where the line lies on the preparation fuel tank.  Because of this, people carry on “talking sessions” that play the role of actual relationships while avoiding having to deem it the dreaded..(drum roll)..FACEBOOK OFFICIAL!  In reality, this is greatly overrated because if you enjoy someone’s company then spend time with them.  If you want monogamy and exclusivity, then discuss it, and if BOTH parties agree then be monogamous and exclusive! Avoid overcomplicating simple situations and understanding can be achieved. Clarity lives in simplicity (Just GQ quote)! 

I appreciate you checking in the game with me once again.  As always, I will continue addressing issues YOU want!  Leave your comments and feel free to e-mail questions and topics you want to hear about to!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Just Doin' Me

Fads come and go, but you alone, control your personal style.  Some people opt to act as chameleons do, and change their clothes with the passing trends, while others stay cemented in popular styles of yesteryear awaiting their return to the forefront.  Now, I am by no means a fashion expert nor do I claim to be (I will refer you to the “Closet Freak”, Fitz Fitzgerald, for that. #PLUG!, but I believe one’s personal style includes a significant amount more than the clothes draped over a body.

As you know we live in a conspicuously prejudiced society fixated on exterior beauty and overall image.  Your personal style precedes you.  It is the first frame in people’s minds when they see you and the first image of recall when your name enters conversations.  YOU control the manner in which you are perceived.  The obvious example of this shines most clearly in the world of celebrity; these people are constantly under the microscope of paparazzi and are frequently ridiculed for appearing a certain way as the viewer sits on the couch 20 lbs overweight in sweat pants eating ice cream.  Unfair? Sure, but this is the world in which we live.  Everyone is a critic and everyone has an opinion.  Make the opinion about you favorable.

Confidence is most key in this!  I frequently say, “If you believe, they believe.” This holds true in choosing clothes, demeanor with women, and job interviews, among other arenas.  If a guy fitted in dry cleaned navy slacks, crisp white button-up with a bowtie and smooth brown loafers walks in a party where everyone there is dressed in baggy jeans and t-shirts, but he carries himself like “I know I’m fly, excuse me as I move to the bar..” other people will more than likely think, “Oh, he’s cool..”  This is the same as making an appearance at an exclusive party that you truly have no business attending but moving with an overall poised deportment resulting in no questions being asked of you as you mingle freely. 

Your personal style is by what you are most readily defined, and while I am in no position to say in what way your definition should translate, I will borrow a quote from the late, fondly revered French fashion icon, Yves Saint Laurent which states, “Fashions fade, but STYLE is eternal!”

Thanks for CHECKING IN THE GAME with the Just GQ blog!  Refine your style and accompany it with your personal je ne sais quoi!  

Thursday, May 13, 2010

What Are We?

Joe meets Jane.  Joe asks Jane on a date.  Joe and Jane go on their date and have a lot of fun.  Then, during the next week when Joe and Jane are at the movies, Joe asks, “Where do you see this going?” Jane replies, “I don’t know, but I’m fine with friends, since we are getting to know each other better.” Joe agrees.
Fast forward two months.  Joe and Jane are still hanging out and talking regularly, but when Jane calls Joe to ask if he wants to hang out on a Friday night, Joe declines and informs Jane he made plans to go out to eat with Judy.  How would you feel?

Typically, Jane would feel hurt, as if Joe had done something wrong by going out with another girl because her feelings had deepened since their initial and ONLY conversation.  BUT Joe, in fact, has done nothing wrong because in the conversation regarding the intentions of BOTH parties, FRIENDS was the title upon which Joe AND Jane agreed. 

Women, and sometimes men, have the tendency to commit the other party’s feelings to the level of feelings, which they possess.  In most cases, as a woman’s feelings grow for the man in which she is interested, she will slowly cut off the other men she had previously entertained as she has found whom she wants.  Men, usually, will not do the same, and this basic difference in the mentality of the sexes is what creates, arguably, one of the most frequently encountered topics of disagreement.

Unless, he/she makes a statement declaring a state of monogamy and/or exclusivity, NEVER assume that the other party has stopped talking to other interests.  Personally, when I begin seeing someone, I ALWAYS assume the lady is talking to other guys because if I find her attractive, someone else probably did before me, but people set themselves up to have their feelings hurt when they commit their interest’s feelings to the level at which theirs are.

Now, at this point, I know the ladies who have been in this situation before are rolling their eyes and may be bordering on disgruntled saying, “Who does he think he is? Dr. Phil or somebody? I’m not waiting on him!” 

Chill before you check in.

Due to societal influences, the abundance of other women/men, OR perhaps a simple lack of readiness in mentality for a relationship, your significant other may INITIALLY be reluctant to jump into a relationship.  THE ABSOLUTE WORST thing you can do is force him/her into a relationship for which he/she is not ready!  People who present ultimatums and other methods of forcing a relationship on their interest set themselves up to either get cheated on and/or be in a 10 second relationship, one in which you will NOT enjoy.  If he is worth it, wait, but if he is not, then I think you can deduce what your move will be.

The mentality you SHOULD use, you ask?  I will leave you with an often used adage of mine when talking to women about this subject.  “A man’s uncertainty can drive a woman away, but a woman’s patience will win a man’s commitment.”

Thanks for checking in the game with the Just GQ blog!  As always, it has been a pleasure discussing these topics with you!  GOD BLESS!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Trivial Matters

Let me paint a picture for you.  You call your boyfriend and say, “Hey babe. What are you doing?”  He responds by saying, “I am headed out to meet Ashley for lunch.  She is in town for the day, and we were going to catch up for a little bit.”

How do you react? Do you wind up your neck to start moving and finger to start waving, or do you simply chill and say, “Oh ok. Tell her I say hey. Call me later, babe.” (in a non-sarcastic tone by the way..)

Now before I fully dive into this frequently crossed scenario, allow me to identify this a pertinent component.  Know your significant other!  If you know your significant other frequently cheats and lies then all of this does not apply, but if you have a significant other who remains faithful to you and treats you well, then I would advise you to read carefully.

In most scenarios when a guy cheats, he lies.  If after he is up front and honest in detailing his plans for you (when, despite what you may think, he is NOT required to do), and you berate him, next time he may not be out to lunch with Ashley, he might be shooting hoops with Joe. 

I use this analogy to say this: Pick your battles.  While some men and women are simply liars, I stand by the fact that majority of good men and women lie about innocent situations to avoid the overreaction of the person to whom he/she is lying.  In case you think I am off with my thinking, this also holds true in other relationships: parent/child and friend/friend, among others.

Identifying and discussing insecurities is a nice topping for the cake that is a relationship, but trust is the main ingredient!  No matter how hard you try you are not going to control your significant other’s every move, so when you try to do so, you are, quite frankly, wasting your time.  Controlling behavior in most situations becomes annoying and may be counter productive in the long run as it has driven people into the arms of another.  So, next time, stay kool, kalm, and kollected because you know your mate and have no reason to worry.

Thanks for joining me for another Just GQ experience. Check in the game! 

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

What Is Your Next Move?

May is a time for change (Shoutout to President Obama).  The rain begins to subside as spring transforms to summer.  Graduations on all levels of academia occur as transitions begin from high school to college and college to the beginning of professional lives whether that be down the proverbial path of careers or advanced learning.  And in the spirit of achievement (YO! to Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc.), I would like to aim this blog at the importance of ambition and achievement of goals, which we set for ourselves.

As you all know I matriculated through the college ranks as a student athlete, playing football for the University of Louisville, and in my time spent at this level, I was privileged to see a large number of my teammates and friends at other schools accomplish the ULTIMATE goal of any athlete, a professional career in his/her respective sport.  BUT even after the BCS bowl games, top 10 rankings, and awards attained, I have witnessed an significantly larger number of guys not make it to the next level though based on hype, they were a shoe-in.

The NFL Draft season, which recently occurred, provided my teammates: Joe Tronzo, Trent Guy, Scott Long, and Jon Dempsey among other friends of mine with the prime opportunity of living out their professional aspirations.  Though a certain glitz and glamour finds an association with that of people who find themselves suddenly receiving large sums of money, it does not come close to the diligence and tireless labor behind the scenes which truly served as the fuel to drive goals, in general, to come to fruition.

So, in this installment of Just GQ, I wanted to pose this question. “What is your next move?”  Some of you may be scratching your heads in regards to this question as it is one of great magnitude and in some cases uneasiness, but I will share with you what my dad tells me, “Preparation is the greatest remedy for anxiety.”

The formula to preparation you ask?

>Identify your goal: What do you want to achieve?
>Outline a plan of action: How do you plan to reach your goal?
>Provide a deadline: Define a date by which to complete your goal, preferably, earlier than it must be completed.
>Commit to your goal: Be RELENTLESS in YOUR pursuit of YOUR goal!
>ACHIEVE! – Conquer for what you have toiled!

Thanks for joining me for this installment of Just GQ!  Stay tuned this week because I will be hitting you all with another blog SOON!  ACHIEVEMENT is key! Check in the game!