Thursday, April 22, 2010
Would you start classes without a schedule, or start a job without knowing what it was the task entailed? Well, all too often, people claim to be “looking for love” but have no idea for what they are looking. You must first know yourself and what you value, personally, before you even THINK about involving another person. The majority of people who find themselves unhappy in relationships are those who lack a proper outlook on what they actually desire in a mate.
The inspiration for this installment of Just GQ derived from a revival I attended at Bates Memorial Church on Wednesday (Check them out when you get a chance). While the sermon covered several aspects pertinent to human life, the portion from which I drew my inspiration spoke to the topic of self-improvement.
Defining and obtaining a proper level of comfort with yourself serves a vital role in not only finding someone you desire but also in constructing what you can even offer another person. People who fail to be happy with themselves FIRST inhibit their ability to make someone else happy and in the process become a liability in the relationship as opposed to being an asset to their significant other.
I suggest this: KNOW YOUR “UNCOMPROMISEABLES”! I, personally, receive a considerable amount of flack from those in my inner circle because I am “too picky”, but I, simply, make an effort to not compromise my “uncompromiseables” (Faith in and love for the LORD, high levels of education and ambition, and a sense of family). By “uncompromiseables”, I mean know what qualities are essential to your compatibility with the opposite sex. Generally, those who compromise their “uncompromiseables” find themselves longing for more from both their relationship and the other party.
Free yourself of concern with other people’s approval and interpretation of what YOUR standards should be. Know YOUR worth and that the company you keep is a reflection of you! There is however, a thin line between picky and unreasonable. I have learned that it is nearly impossible to find ALL the particular qualities (physically, emotionally, and personality) you desire in one person, but view the person as a whole and do not allow a nearly insignificant aspect of a person allow you to miss out on someone great!
Posted by GQ50 at 1:29 PM
Monday, April 19, 2010
Those of you who have checked out my Facebook and/or Twitter, @GQ50 (Please excuse the shameless plug), are more than likely familiar with my “return to chivalry” movement. With that being said, I pose this question to you: is chivalry truly dead, on life support, or simply endangered at the present moment? Webster-Merriam defines chivalry as actions of “gallant or distinguished gentlemen”. In popular television and music, the frequent and shameless saturation of vivid descriptions of disrespect between sexes plagues the minds of many. This makes it seemingly appear to be the normal type of interaction in which people should engage, BUT this is OBVIOUSLY a caricature of a suitable state of human relations.
Often when the topic of chivalry rises to the proverbial surface of conversation, people question the purpose of the gentlemanly practice. That is when GQ checks in the game (Sound the horn!). Chivalry is more than opening doors and pulling out chairs; it entails a total manner in which one carries himself. Ladies have been incorrectly sought after for so long, they are now drawn to the inadequate men who have no concept of the correct way to treat a lady. When women complain about the all too often mentioned “shortage of good men”, this is the concept to which they reference.
Now, this is partially the fault of men, but ladies, YOU play THE MOST important role in this game of gender interaction. In order to properly influence the practice of chivalry, to ensure the grade in which you are treated as a woman (I might add), you MUST encourage chivalry. How do you do that, you ask? Raise the standard for whose pursuit you entertain. I am not saying you should be stuck up because that is an entirely different story (to be discussed in a later blog), but bluntly put, STOP ENTERTAINING LAMES. If you demand a gentleman, you will find a gentleman. Chivalry had been momentarily abandoned because it was not made necessary.
For the fellas, the reasoning behind this “soon to be” habit is relatively simple. Chivalry serves as an avenue to set yourself apart from the abundance of lames that often attempt to present competition in the pursuit of a lady. Exemplifying a unique opportunity for her to be treated with the respect she deserves WILL open her eyes to what could and should be. So, CHECK IN THE GAME and restore the gentleman to his rightful place in the forefront of manhood!
Posted by GQ50 at 11:27 AM
Monday, April 12, 2010
From media to general conversation amongst men, one of the most frequently repeated questions, which yields no correct response, pertains to uncovering the true desires of women. Now, before you get all pumped, I will say I am not claiming to know the answer to one of life's great mysteries, but I do have the roadmap to the route you can travel to gain insight into what it is, in fact, a specific woman wants because while all women share certain characteristics, they are unique individuals at their core.
All too often men begin their interaction with a female focused on short term goals (your first guess was correct), and it is during the waiting portion when the guy gets to know the personality of the object of his focus. In the instance that a man's interest in peaked to the point where he desires a deeper knowledge of the woman, his conversation with reflect more curiosity in what makes her tick. This is generally where the guy gets stumped.
I recently had a conversation with one of my cousins regarding this very topic, and I shared with him that a woman will tell you everything you need to know to understand her. If you talk to a woman, you can get her, but if you listen to her you can UNDERSTAND her. Listening facilitates learning, and learning births understanding. Some people may have the crazy confused face, but when a woman is asked about a previous relationship, listen to the good and the bad. The combination of her words and body language will tell you what he did that she liked and what she did not care for. Another recurring example is movies, if something occurs in a movie that she characterizes as "so cute, and I wish a guy would do that for me someday", internalize the comments, and think of something of that genre she would appreciate. Fellas, check in the game!
Just a little bit of insight. Thanks for visiting the Just GQ blog. Check back for new posts coming soon!
Posted by GQ50 at 1:40 PM
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Greetings and WELKOME to the Just GQ Blog.. In this first post I just aim to share a little about myself and what I plan to gain with this blog. First off, I give all the Glory, Honor, and Praise to Jesus Christ now, forever, and ALWAYS! Secondly, I am a college educated, young, African American professional who maximized his undergraduate career with involvement as a student-athlete, playing football at the University of Louisville, and as a member of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity Inc., which afforded me opportunities to encounter an array of different people and experiences.
Based on my interests and experiences with sports, music, women, relationships, politics, today's gentleman, among other topics of frequent in-depth conversation, I formulated an arena in which I can express my thoughts freely. I am in the process of completing my first literary project entitled, Addicted to the Honeymoon Period, expected to be completed by August 2010. In this project, I tackle frequently visited issues throughout relationships, from boy meets girl to the break-up, and the best manners to handle them. My aim with this blog and in prose as a whole is to provoke discussion and thought, improving one's mind in the process.
Again, welkome, and hopefully you will be a frequent visitor.. Check in the game!
Posted by GQ50 at 2:34 PM